Bee's Ramblings

So, that was a surprise.

2008-04-07T20:53:00.002-04:00

The MetLife position I applied for, I ended up being overqualified for. Now that was something I hadn't expected at all. The hiring coordinator referred me to another MetLife office on Long Island, though, for another position that she felt I was more qualified for. God, I hope I get this job. I really do. I have loans to pay in December, and an apartment to pay for. Keep your fingers crossed for me, everyone. (All three of you who read this, anyway.)

The sun is out, and I feel like a kid again.

2008-04-06T10:18:00.002-04:00

I think I've skipped spring and went straight on to summer.

I feel like I'm 16 again, getting every single Electric Light Orchestra CD I can afford (and back then, they were still somewhat expensive). I'd listen while I walked, while I drew pictures on the floor of my bedroom while the dogs watched, while I slept outside in the tent. There were four albums at the time that I couldn't get my hands on (and one of them didn't exist yet). I finally found them, through the magic of the internet, and I feel like I did 10 years ago, listening to Out of the Blue on my mom's record player, loud enough so the entire neighborhood could hear.

While a lot has changed me, in essence, I'm still that girl, laying on the floor, listening to Jeff Lynne sing about how he turns to stone when his love is gone, and why can't she come back?, drawing Sailor Moon pictures, and being happy.

Edit: And I never noticed that on the cover of Secret Messages, there's a part of a Titian painting. (At least I think it's Titian.) I never could have appreciated that until now, heh.

The first (and last!) late nighter of my academic career

2008-04-01T20:19:00.002-04:00

So, I will admit, I haven't been the best student in college. I'm much better than I used to be, that's for sure- I actually show up to classes now, and haven't failed a class since 2003, but I am notoriously bad when it comes to writing papers. This semester wasn't so bad- I got my research done on time, for two of the three papers I have due anyway. And I've even got one of these papers done, the one that's due next week.

Of course, the art history paper that's due tomorrow only exists in scattered notes and outlines. Granted, I could just type the paper at work tomorrow. However, I've done that before, and spitting out a paper in three hours at work is not the best way to go about things. (I did, however, get an A- on that paper) Especially for a Dr. Watts paper. A 15-20 page Dr. Watts paper. (I'm going by the syllabus, and how it says the paper should be between 3000 and 4000 words long. That way I don't have to do the silly lengthening tricks, like 12.5 point font and enlarging the periods and other punctuation marks)

So if I'm not writing this paper at work, it means that I'm going to be up very late tonight. And, funnily enough, in my seven year academic career... this is the first time I've ever done this. Bryan does it all the time, and I'm quite sure my other friends have done it as well. I think my friend Randi will be doing the same thing for her art history paper either tonight or tomorrow. (Art history truly is the devil sometimes!)

I hope that this paper will turn out better than I think it will, and that I'll pass High Italian Renaissance with at least a 2.0 and will be able to graduate. I'm so afraid that I'll fail this class, and I'm so close to the damned end that if I fail, I may just give up on college. And graduating college is something I want to do, something that even four years ago I never thought I would do. (Even last year I never thought I would. Granted, that's because I ended up having to go for an extra year, thanks to dealing with the evils of depression)

So cross your fingers for me, whoever reads this, and hope I do well on this.

Speaking of whoever reads this, comment and let me know I'm not the only one reading this. I like having a more public blog, but it seems pointless if I'm the only one who's reading it. At least the subject matter is better than before, when I just rambled uselessly on one topic per post.

Now, off to fill myself with coffee.

While some things change, others stay the same...

2008-03-31T08:00:00.003-04:00

... no matter how annoying they are.

Some constants in my life

-The fact that whenever I get a pair of pants, more often than not they're too long for me. Even the petite pants are too long, which makes no sense at all.

-March comes in like a lion and goes out like one too, especially in Potsdam. It was snowing on my way to work this morning. Snowing.

-I will always, always arrive at the office before my boss does, when we're scheduled to work at the same time.

-There will always be too much work to do, and too little time to do it in. No matter if it's school work, housework, or work work, there will always be a stack of it.

-Coffee fixes everything.

Spring Break, Consensed

2008-03-30T15:05:00.003-04:00

Well, I'm sure most of the people who know me noticed I disappeared off the face of the internet last week, and I'm back in freezing Potsdam after a... well... maybe you could call it relaxing... well, let's just say I'm back from a week of break. It was busy, and fun, and productive.

I started off the week with helping out around Bryan's parents' house, just doing things that needed to be done- trimming the dog's fur, helping build the jacuzzi shed, doing odd jobs at Bryan's mom's office. I also had a job interview for MetLife this week, for the open Office Assistant position, and I have my fingers crossed that I do get the job. I don't want to have to worry about being broke once I get done with college, although with loans coming due, I probably will be broke forever. But that's okay. Bryan and I also looked at an apartment, and should we get jobs, we'll take it- it's not like it's going anywhere. Yesterday I helped rake leaves and such at Bryan's grandparents' house, then we helped empty the jacuzzi room in hopes it eventually becomes Bryan's mom's office. And then we fell asleep ridiculously early, only to get up at 2:30 am, and leave at 3:30 am. And here I am!

It occured to Bryan and I on the way up that this was our last trip up to Potsdam for a long time. True, we'll be up here to visit friends and such, but this was the last trip we were making as college students. I'm excited, and a little scared. Real life is coming at me quickly. (Again. But that's a long story, for another day, if anyone actually reads this thing.)

Work, work, work.

2008-03-20T09:41:00.003-04:00

All I ever do is work, it feels like. Either I'm here in the office, printing and scanning and so on and so forth, or I'm up to my eyebrows in books at the library. Or I'm trying to deal with Gamma Sig business- upset pledges, angry alumni, and so on and so forth. At least Spring Break is coming up. I have three goals for break- finish my Leonardo da Vinci paper (which shouldn't be hard), read the Cleopatra books I signed out for my Egypt in Late Antiquity class, and write some more chapters for my Black Jewels Trilogy fanfiction. Yes, I've started writing fanfiction again. It's frightening, isn't it? At least so far I've gotten good reviews, and hopefully I can crank out a chapter or two to keep the few fans I have at the moment happy. I missed writing fanfiction. It's a good stress reliever, and this time I'm trying to do it right- make original characters that aren't a reflection of myself in some way, and stay true to the story. My old Sailor Moon stories were horrible... I should probably delete them from my hard drive, so nobody ever stumbles across them. Some of them are just so horrible I deny the existence of them. They really should be obliterated from the face of the planet.

In other news, I'm ready to graduate. I want to be done with all these tests and research papers and so on. I want to go forth and enjoy what the real world has to offer me. I want to get a real job, and a better apartment than the ones I've had. I want to experience life. I'm done with being a young adult, I think. I'm ready to grow up now. I really wish I hadn't screwed up in my first year of college, then I would have graduated by now. However, if that had happened, I never would have met Bryan, and I wouldn't exactly be the person I am today.

Okay, enough rambling. I've got to get back to homework and scanning.

Things are slowly looking up.

2008-03-18T16:43:00.003-04:00

Well, I just had one job interview, for MetLife down in Hauppage (about 10 minutes away from where Bryan lives). Granted, it was a simple phone interview, but hopefully I'll get scheduled for a full interview over spring break. I hope I get the job. I really do. I also hope that Bubba's mom will go down on the price of the apartment in her basement. I have a good feeling about everything right now.

In other news, the sorority is going down the tubes. Too much angst and drama, and I'm more than sick of it all.

I got to visit my mother this past weekend. It was nice to see her.

I think I might start double posting my livejournal entries here, so the public can see most of what's going on (the truly private posts will stay on Livejournal). Maybe then I'll meet new people, make new friends.

Apartment hunting is frustrating.

2008-03-03T09:45:00.004-05:00

The title says it all. Apartment hunting is just ridiculous. If you want to live near the city, apartments get more expensive. If you want something relatively affordable, you end up renting in the boonies. If you want to try to rent from a friend, they're going to milk you for all it's worth. If you want to try and live with your parents, either they'll never let you leave for fear of an empty nest, or it'll be a struggle to get them to let you move back in, because they enjoyed the empty nest.

Why is it so hard to find something affordable near where one wants to be?

Thoughts on Christianity

2008-02-25T13:59:00.002-05:00

This has been posted in two other places- my ChristianForums blog, in its entirety, and the italicized part was in my Livejournal as well. I may as well post it here, to see if I can get the thoughts of others here.

I've been doing a lot of thinking on Christianity. I know a lot of it doesn't fit with most people's beliefs about Christianity. My view of religion in general is that it's a deeply personal thing, and it should be what you make of it. It should be tailored to fit your needs, but within reason. For example, someone saying they're Christian, but thinking it's okay to kill people, that's a little nuts. But most of my beliefs... they're not what most of the Christians I've met believe. Maybe there's more out there besides me who hold similar beliefs. I don't know.

This first rambling is from my Livejournal, where I wrote about the Bible.

This may not make much sense. Please don't judge me for my ramblings. For those of you who aren't religious, I'm not trying to preach, or convert anyone. I'm not even sure of my own religion. Don't hold anything I say against me.

Well, I've been reading up on Christianity a lot lately, and just in general trying to get a sense of people's beliefs, and how mine differ from theirs. In some cases, I wonder if my thoughts on Christianity and the Bible are blasphemous. I was raised Roman Catholic, and some of that still sticks to me, even though I'm learning to think for myself religiously.

One thing that I feel strongly about is the Bible, more specifically the Old Testament and the creation stories. I almost called them creation myths, because in all honesty, that's what I feel they are. It's pleasant mythology that doesn't involve incest like the Greek pantheon, and God, in my opinion, seems rather caring. He found out that Adam was lonely, despite having all those animals running around Eden, so he made Adam a wife. Would a cruel deity do that? I see how Adam and Eve getting cast out of Eden could be a metaphor for what happens if you don't trust in God. Things will turn unpleasant, and life will be hard. However, God is still there watching out for you. God should be seen as a loving entity, in my opinion, almost like a parent, instead of one that is constantly angry and smiting other people. How can someone create and not be loving?

But then again, it's probably all mythology, in my book. Different characters, different stories, but still mythology. I don't understand why people take this at face value, and believe that everything happened as it was said in the bible. If we believed everything written in the bible, then Moses had horns, according to St. Jerome's translation. (He didn't believe people could emanate rays of light, as it said in one translation of the Moses story, so he just translated it as "horns of light". And that's why Michelangelo's Moses, for Pope Julius's tomb, has horns.)

All of the Old Testament was written long, long ago, and while it may have been pertinent to the people of that time period, it's now over 2000 years later. I think the Bible may have explained things in ways people of the time could understand (like the creation story), but honestly, with all the scientific evidence we have today of how the world came to be, how can people just cast aside scientific findings and believe that one deity made the entire universe in a week, and that woman was originally an extra rib in the male body? Homosexuality may have been frowned upon back in the days of the Old Testament, or in the cultures that wrote the bible, but now it is a common thing, just like males loving females back in that time period. Things change. The world is entirely different now. Women love women, and men love men. Premarital sex happens, and quite honestly, why would someone risk ending up with someone that they didn't have the sexual chemistry with as well as the emotional chemistry? If one's going to bond for life, I feel that they should be sure they are compatible in every way possible. But that's a rant for another day.

I just don't get how people can get so worked up over stuff in the Old Testament when they should be concerned with emulating Christ's actions. People get caught up in "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" and such like that, when Christ was accepting of everyone and helped everyone, no matter what. He cared for people, and to him it didn't matter who they were.

I'm not saying I don't believe that God is real with that rant. It might sound like it, now that I've re-read it. I do believe he's real. But I'm not sure about the stories that are in the Bible, however. Take Greek Mythology, again, as an example. There are so many variations of the lives, happenings, and assorted stories of the Greek deities that you're not sure which one's true. Similarly, there's so many variations of the Bible, and while most stick to the same story, there are differences in translations and such.

I believe that God created the world, and I believe that he sent his son Jesus to us in the time of the Roman Empire, to try and share God's message with the world and show people how to be. I believe that God loves each and every one of us, and that through some miracle of God, his son Christ was resurrected. I hold the Virgin Mary in high regard- she faced the challenges she was given and still remained strong. She lost her only son, and nobody should see their children die. She suffered so much, but was rewarded in the end, like we all will be rewarded at the end of our lives for trusting in God and loving Jesus. I believe God forgives us for all our sins, so long as we ask for forgiveness and realize what we've done is wrong. I see God as The Father, not only of Christ but the whole world. And he loves us all. This is the core of what I believe.

However, is it wrong to believe that God of the Christian religion is the same as the gods of other monotheistic religions? Is it wrong to believe that this one entity manifests itself in many other ways? I mean, if God created human life, how could he have just created those who believe in him, and not everyone? I have so many questions that I'm not sure of the answer to. So many things that make me wonder. I believe God will tell me in time, that he'll let me know the truth.

I think I've been listening to the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack a little much. All that's been on my mind are these thoughts and questions, and listening to Jesus and Judas argue out their sides through song just adds fuel to the fire. But that's another ramble for another post.

If anyone wants to add their two cents to this, feel free. I know most of you will probably think I'm nuts...

I need to update this more.

2008-02-25T13:44:00.003-05:00

I doubt anyone reads this anymore anyway. I think I might turn this into a public blog, with updates about my life, rather than posts about things I want to ramble on about.

So. My life. Yes.

Well, things just got a lot busier here, considering I've been elected the new membership vice president in my sorority (Gamma Sigma Sigma). It's a bit scary, considering we're already in the middle of our Member in Training program, and I'm not prepared for this at all. However, our old membership VP had to leave due to health reasons, and I was the only one in the sorority who didn't have too many heavy-duty positions already. So, here I am, pledge mom for the Spring '08 pledge class.

I have to stick to a schedule to make sure I balance everything out nicely, instead of sitting around playing World of Warcraft and worrying about my schoolwork, because it's not getting done. I'm trying out a new schedule this week, complete with times set aside for homework, working out, and sorority stuff. Hopefully things will work well, and I get used to this schedule and stick to it.

Other than that, there's nothing really notable about my life right now. I'm working, I'm doing sorority stuff, I'm trying to keep myself ahead in my schoolwork... that's about all.

Please click my ads, if you find them interesting. The money is appreciated.

Sweeney Todd.

2007-12-02T10:55:00.001-05:00

I hope Sweeney Todd doesn't suck like I'm afraid it will. DeviantArt is hosting a Sweeney Todd poster contest. Sweeney's going to be so mainstream now, and it's going to be full of little Johnny Depp fans who only watched the movie because of him. Nobody's going to know about the original Mrs. Lovett or Sweeney, they'll probably go try to rent the movie and accidentally pick up the George Hearn/Angela Lansbury version and think it's crap because "oh noes, Johnny Depp isn't in it! >:O" Ergh. Sorry about the rant, but seriously, this movie could end up being crap, and the fangirls will still eat it up. At least if it really does suck, Jeff (one of Bryan's many brothers) and I can sit in the back of the theater and sing along with the movie (and embarrass anyone who goes with us, haha) I mean, most Broadway to Hollywood transitions haven't been too bad. Chicago was great. So was The Producers. And so was Sound of Music. (I should watch that again) I think the makers of the Sweeney Todd movie are just going to cater to the Hot Topic going masses and totally screw it up in the process. But that's just me. I'm not going to buy any Sweeney stuff from Hot Topic, if it ends up in there (and it will, you know it). I'm happy with my three different versions of Sweeney on DVD and my well loved Geneva Theater Guild Sweeney shirt.

Animal shelter volunteering!

2007-11-12T16:27:00.001-05:00

If you're taking the time to read my blog, why not take some time to help out the less fortunate animals in your local animal shelter? I'm not saying go bring home a dog or a cat (but if you want to, by all means do it). I'm suggesting something a little simpler, but still brings joy to an animal's day. Go over and volunteer a little of your time.

I brought up the idea of volunteering at the animal shelter my sister works at to my sorority a few months ago (we're a community service sorority, and we like to think up new and interesting service projects), and everyone seemed to like the idea. We went this past weekend, and it was so much fun! All the dogs and cats we got to play with were friendly, and definitely enjoyed the attention. Some of the stories I heard about these poor animals really upset me. Like Champ, for instance. He's a 10 year old mixed breed dog, and he was so eager to get out and get petted, and go for a walk. He was one of the sweetest dogs there! His original owners bought him as a guard dog for a farm, and when they moved, they left him there. I just don't understand people who would do something like that to a defenseless dog. He's alive too, just like you and I, and he has feelings and needs too. There were so many cats and kittens there as well, and even a bunny. I was raised with animals- we've always had at least two pets at our house ever since I can remember, and I was raised to treat animals with love and respect. My mom always reminded us to "take care of the little ones first"- whether it was when we got home from grocery shopping and needed to let the dogs out, or to make sure we remembered to feed the fish every morning... it taught my sister and I a sense of responsibility. You would think that most adults would have that sense of responsibility, especially for a pet, knowing that it needs to be taken care of. Sadly, a lot of people just can't be bothered to care for their pets.

So, go visit an animal shelter, if you're a pet person. Go hug a cat, give a dog a walk and some treats. Even if you're just donating old blankets and towels, every little bit helps to make life better for an abandoned dog or cat.

Alright, I'll step off my soap box now. Expect a much less serious ramble tomorrow.

Furries.

2007-11-08T13:25:00.000-05:00

I just don't get furries. I mean, sure, they like to dress up in costumes and pretend they're cats or wolves or raccoons or whatever. But honestly, why do they make it their entire lives, in some extreme cases?

For example, a girl I know who lives down the hall from me recently discovered that she is a snow leopard, apparently. She goes and changes her screen name to something leopard related, changes just about all her internet accounts to leopard-y names, and "mrrrrrow"s at me over instant messenger. "Hi, how are you?" works better, I feel. (Of course, she also "mrrrrrow"s at me in person as well.) Why? Why do people feel that they should have been born an animal? Any idea why these people take it to such extremes? I certainly don't get it. I guess that's just me, though.

I mean, come on, people, if you're a human now, I think that means you were meant to be a human- not a wallaby, hamster, lion or horse. It boggles the mind, honestly.

Waking up entirely too early on a Saturday morning

2007-11-03T10:13:00.000-04:00

So I've been slacking on my rambling lately. Writing a NaNoWriMo novel kinda does that, and so does generally being out of it. Oh well.

So, it's incredibly early on a Saturday morning, and here I am, in front of my laptop, typing out an entry. Why? I didn't manage to get to sleep until after 1 am, and I certainly didn't stay asleep. I don't get it. It's Saturday. It's 10 am on a Saturday. I think I'm one of three people awake in the dorm right now, probably one of 5 people awake this early on a Saturday.

But then again, I'm not the typical college student. Most people probably partied until 3 am, still riding high off the Halloween party season. Some people probably stayed up late, watching movies or doing their significant others.

Not me. I whined about there not being any episodes of Law and Order on TV, I whined about it being too cold, I ate entirely too much junk food, and I read until I eventually passed out. I don't really even remember falling asleep. I remember rolling over to check the clock and noticing the lights were out. Oh no, I read so much I passed out! Reading with wild abandon is... uh... very geeky. And probably a lot better for one's liver.

I don't know what point I was trying to make with this entry. I've only been awake for 20 minutes at this point.

Scanning issues and disappearing programs.

2007-10-29T12:57:00.000-04:00

Today will be less random rambling and more of a rant.

I'm currently at work right now. As I mentioned in my introduction post, I work for Computing and Technology Services on my college's campus- more specifically, in the Instructional Technology Center. I scan documents, transver videos to DVD, print posters, scan tests, and do some general troubleshooting, since I used to work at the Helpdesk and have a basic knowledge of how to encourage a computer to behave.

Right now, however, I'm more inclined to send the computer flying out the window of the tallest building on campus and let it soar down to the pavement, to crash into thousands of itty bitty pieces.

A professor brought in an oversized book he wants a few things scanned out of. We have three scanners in the office, and only one of them is big enough to fit the book in (well, technically under, since it's a scanner that just sits in a nice stand, and can be taken off and laid on a book whenever it needs to scan something huge). And for some reason unbeknownst to me, the damned software just up and decided to stop working.

Oh. Heh. Except for when I push the scan button on the scanner. Geez. And here I was, trying to open the scanning program from the computer, like I've done hundreds of times when this scanner was hooked up to a different computer. Silly me, how was I supposed to read the scanner's mind and know it wanted me to push its button, rather than try and run the program from the computer? When I tried to run the program from the computer, either a double click on the icon did a whole lot of nothing, or it would tell me that the program I'm trying to run is missing, and Windows is looking for it, but if I'd like to speed up the process, I could browse for it.

I've reinstalled the software once today, and repaired it twice. If the HP Director program isn't there, and quite obviously it isn't, I'd like to know where it's hiding so I can kick it. Hard. For some reason whatever popped up to let me scan just now isn't giving me the option to preview what I've scanned, so I can make sure it looks okay.

Can I strangle the scanner now?

Some days I hate my job.

Daylight Savings Time

2007-10-28T09:36:00.001-04:00

See, I told you things would be random here. Why the heck is Bee posting about Daylight Savings time?

Because honestly, I think it was rather stupid of the government to pass the bill to have the fall portion of the DST mess be pushed to November, and pushed into whatever month it is in the spring (I can't remember quite off the top of my head. I just woke up). We don't end up conserving more energy this way- I just have to turn my lamps on when I wake up at 7 am, so I'm not stubbing my toes on everything in the room.

And what prompted this rant, Bee?

Well, I purchased an alarm clock that would keep track of DST, and set itself ahead and back at the correct time of year. Unfortunately, now that DST is all out of whack, my alarm clock switches itself ahead a week early. Which explains me sleeping in until 9:30 on a weekend. (I know, I know, I'm a college student, I should sleep in until noon! But I have things I have to do today, and besides, I stopped sleeping in until noon when I hit 23, I think.) And for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how to set the time on my clock! (It's one of the 'smart' alarm clocks, which keeps track of the time by computer and battery, so you never have to set it) After poking at it for a bit, I managed to set it an hour ahead- I'll have to go through this process again next week, when the rest of my clocks switch backward on their own and this one stays an hour ahead.

Well, that's it for me today. Please click the ads, what I end up earning from them will help pay for my dorm room.... how I ended up back on campus is another story for another day.

About the Bee

2007-10-27T20:49:00.001-04:00

Well, here's the rundown on me. I'm a college student. I major in Art History. I'm 25 years old, and living on campus. I collect books, dolls, and sometimes I collect dust. I play video games. I sleep a lot, when I can. I ramble a lot about useless things. I enjoy learning about ancient Greece and Rome. I listen to a wide range of music. I plan on writing a post each day about a random thing- whether it be music, the stupidities of dorm life, the books I'm reading, things I'm learning about in my classes, hockey, or the evils of my job (which is rather evil at times- I work for Computing and Technology Services on my campus and hoo boy, is my job stressful at times). This is the random post about myself.

More about myself: I sleep with a security blanket and at least three stuffed animals. I find art history very interesting, especially the progression of art in Greece and Rome. How things develop from Archaic Greece to the end of Imperial Rome, the rise and fall of the beautiful styles the artists did, interests me greatly. I am almost always in front of a computer, and for 20 of those hours weekly spent in front of a computer, I'm paid for it. I like the New York Rangers, and think Jaromir Jagr is hot. My favorite video game series' are Pokemon, Ace Attorney, Final Fantasy, and Super Mario (insert descriptive title here). I love to listen to Tori Amos, Portishead, Foreigner, The Beatles, Blackmore's Night, Ace of Base, Daft Punk, and Spock's Beard, among other things. I am in a sorority, even though nobody really expected me to join one; the sorority is also one that is a little out of the ordinary- we do community service instead of party all the time. I wish the Toronto Maple Leafs would stop kicking the Rangers' asses (they're winning 3-1 as I type this). I've recently gotten into the habit of watching TV again, and I love House, Mythbusters, Clean Sweep, Pokemon Diamond and Pearl, The Singing Bee, and Deal or No Deal. And Rangers hockey games.

Okay, enough of my random detached ramblings for tonight. I shall ramble to you all about a new topic tomorrow.